I am on a 30 day streak and May is coming closer to a close. Today, Senior awards. A part of me shudders at that thought. It feels like everything, the significance of everything, is coming to an end. I am not sure I like it. Maybe if I thought, “Oh, a new chapter!” I might be able to don a crooked smile rather than that worried squiggly across my forehead. Isn’t this what parents look to when they have their babies? Not this parent. I remember when Katherine was born, saying “I am so glad she is a December baby…. that means I get to keep her for another year!”
I am grateful for Cameron’s truck, which I have under my care for the next ten days. This means I get to do truck oriented tasks, like go to the dump and unload a bunch of stuff I don’t want, need and that don’t fit in the “reuse, recycle” mode. I am grateful to know, for example – my garage will benefit from being cleared a bit. And loads taken to Goodwill in large bunches.
I am grateful for candles.
I am grateful for my camera.
I am grateful for Michelle’s abilities with a camera.
I am grateful for the 750word challenge. I want to get back into my handwritten morning pages as well… but this computer can’t be misplaced like my notebooks have a tendency of doing. I think I will start a new notebook on June 1. That always works well for me, I discover… over and over again.
I am grateful for my mug collection.
I am grateful for all the people I have met this past year. My circle has widened considerably.
I am grateful to feel the increase in confidence that has developed without me even really noticing it.
I am grateful I will soon have more time to download all these stories that are lined up like logs, waiting to go down stream.
Soon, soon.
I am grateful for Hank.
I am grateful.
What? A slight distraction bobbled my flow.
What do I wish to change about my place is the question today from Jamie.
No, simply “what do you wish for your space?”
It is intriguing this question comes now, when I have just worked out a barter to get the exterior of my house painted and have been planning for mini-remodels of my space. Nothing major or structural, more like paint and window treatments, but it is still exciting. When Cameron is out of town I am to collect paint chips for the exterior of the house. I will take Katherine with me on that. I have been wanting a greyish color (literally for years) with a dark blue trim. In the twenty years I have lived here, I have wanted to paint for probably… 18 of those years.
I wish for my space to be welcoming.
I wish for my space to be ready to be welcoming so it isn’t a big production when I have guests because I love having guests. This year I have had more guests than I have had for years. It has been great, actually. I would love to get the floors redone, also. They are better… we lifted the carpet and the floors still need to be refinished but it is one of those, “All in good time!” experiences. I also would like to hang more of the art I have been collecting on the walls and to print more photos and hang them throughout… So much art.
I wish for my space to express the artists who inhabit it.
I wish for my space to remain light and open.
I wish for my space to be a gathering place for other artists. (It is getting there.)
I wish for my space to make way for other spaces.
I wish for my space to feel sacred.
I wish for my space to be… peace.
(That is enough, right?)
Yes. That is enough.
I remember making those calls about the Korn video. Was it two weeks ago now? Three? Something like that. I remember, especially, my presence in the moment. I didn’t think about anything except the moment, which is probably how the photos manage to, not the photos, the shots, managed to work out so well.
The clearest recollection was running down the street, scared… and running in front of the crowd of Daleans, applauding. And not being embarassed or even feeling the need to be embarassed, but staying 100% professional and checking in with the Director. “IS this what you wanted?”
Ok, I need to get ready to take care of the dogs now. Yay?
Yes, Yay!
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