unfinished june 21

drumstick plays

relentless upon

the space between

my eyebrows

right above my nose,

I feel the triple

wetness

threaten to drip

bankrupt tears

spilling unwillingly

why does this transparent portrait

of collaborative love cause this

uncodified ache coursing through

my center from brow to belly to

the cracks in my heels

blood barren, dry, emptied

dust covered all remain

unspoken for language will not

can not know how to form around

this mammoth pilgrimage of

oppressive heat bars me from

dust covered box somewhere

out there in the great unknown

does it…

does it or

See more progress on: Try to write at least one poem per day for one month: June

unfinished june 21

drumstick plays

relentless upon

the space between

my eyebrows

right above my nose,

I feel the triple

wetness

threaten to drip

bankrupt tears

spilling unwillingly

why does this transparent portrait

of collaborative love cause this

uncodified ache coursing through

my center from brow to belly to

the cracks in my heels

blood barren, dry, emptied

dust covered all remain

unspoken for language will not

can not know how to form around

this mammoth pilgrimage of

oppressive heat bars me from

dust covered box somewhere

out there in the great unknown

does it…

does it or

See more progress on: Try to write at least one poem per day for one month: June

One Word Journal: June 21, 2011

invisible

See more progress on: reflect daily in a 'one word' journal

Gratitude List: June 4, 2011

I am grateful for my friend, Mel, whose birthday is today.

I am grateful for first friday, which was such a good time.

I am grateful for the trip to the East Bay, had such a blast there.

I am grateful for the Poetry Walk in Berkeley. Fantastic.

I am grateful for poets, all across the world, who write and perform with passion that overflows amongst us.

I am grateful.

See more progress on: Daily: Reflect on at least 5 things for which I'm grateful (Happiness Manifesto #2)

June 4: Remembering May 31 ~ for Chas and the others in Berkeley

So tell me
how unextraordinary
it is to step into
the repellent stench
of unsalvaged heart
work

try to break it to me
anything but gently
as the worn out cliches
bumble their ways out
of mouths doing a dueling
banjos of poetic whining
about how my life my experiences
my whatever the fuck is up next
in this self indulgent word orgy
is ten times worse, at least,
than yours

What will it be next?
The lack of sexual climax – ever?
The curly hair you wear as a
result of your Semetic forebears
smashed into a cattle car smiling?
alcoholism smashed into a
swallowed gold fish metaphor
I hear you, poetic friends
and I love you for your words
but I ask you how does this
compare

With the rage I feel when I
shout from deep in my gut
at Fabian, to put down his
flashy smart phone and
never and I mean never ever
again have the audacity
to strip me from my rightful
position as Mayor of Dagnys

Who does he think he is,
stealing my rightful place on
the throne of Zambien Zing
and Vanilla latte’s or oh,
those tasty chocolate scones
and toasted just right sesame bagels

I worked long and hard for this
job and if you don’t dismantle
your foursquare connection things
will get ugly. I may have taken the
mayor reins of a random BART Station
in Oakland and Cupcake Corner and
the Coalinga Cows but it
makes my stagnant welt of
cancerous boils fester with
poisonous wrath to know that
you, Fabian, besides being blessed
by your unthinking parents at birth
with a completely wretched name
you had to log on and tear away
my favorite claim to anything
worthwhile and meaningful
you have done me wrong
and I will not
can not
shall not
bear witness never
will
forgive
you
this
Fabian

See more progress on: Try to write at least one poem per day for one month: June

Last night I set up my Word-Love Goodies at First Friday

and had a blast. My Poetry Fire was like a magnet…

See more progress on: Resolve to have a great 2011 Spring by doing at least one new and fulfilling thing in April, May and June

Grateful on Monday, May 30, 2011

Today I am grateful for…

1. The fun, carefree time with Emma and Samuel today. It was so balanced in fun, day-to-day chores, errands, reading, creating… perfect.

2. My time with Josh, Jennie and Emma yesterday.

3. Remembering how fun no-purpose flirting can be.

4. Strike for STAGE DOOR was easy and even a teensy bit fun.

5. Fresh strawberries

bonus: working out on Samuel’s wii fit (which makes him so happy!)

See more progress on: Daily: Reflect on at least 5 things for which I'm grateful (Happiness Manifesto #2)

From Virginia Woolf: A Haunted House, a Short Story

“Oh, is this your buried treasure? The light in the heart.”

See more progress on: Collect quotes from Women Artist's/Writers to use as functional word-love art

One Word Journal, May 27, 2011

off-kilter

See more progress on: reflect daily in a 'one word' journal

One sentence journal for May 27, 2011

My creative spirit continues to take the reins in my life and hey, for now I am not fighting it at all.

See more progress on: reflect daily in a 'one sentence' journal

Today, May 28, I am grateful for...

a fun time at the cast party for Stage Door last night

a good night’s sleep where the duvet was a necessary part of it

Katherine’s willingness to log in on foursquare – so I know where she is while she is visiting Davis

the high number of friends I have who really care about me ~

forgiveness

the used bookstore final sale today… and the treasures I always manage to find at thrift stores and the Re-Store and every place else I go to find things to upcycle, etc….

See more progress on: Daily: Reflect on at least 5 things for which I'm grateful (Happiness Manifesto #2)

One Word Journal - May 19, 2010

blanda

See more progress on: reflect daily in a 'one word' journal

May 19 One Sentence Journal

I feel like my spirit is being whittled down.

See more progress on: reflect daily in a 'one sentence' journal

On Friday Morning, I am grateful.....

I am grateful for my writing porch

I am grateful for my cup of Dunkin Donuts coffee

I am grateful for the plentiful images to write, to ponder, to dissect constantly appearing right in front of me

I am grateful for voices

I am grateful for open spans of time to create

I am grateful Monday will be here soon

I am grateful

See more progress on: Daily: Reflect on at least 5 things for which I'm grateful (Happiness Manifesto #2)

On Thursday Morning I am grateful....

for the movie Poetry directed by Lee Chang-dong…

for Emma’s willingness to watch a subtitled film only to discover (as I told her) soon, you will forget you are reading subtitles. She did.

for very cool cemeteries in tucked away places

for laughter over unusual things

for passionate living, no matter what

for expansion

for you

See more progress on: Daily: Reflect on at least 5 things for which I'm grateful (Happiness Manifesto #2)

May 15, 2011

My voice turned into a squeak when I saw the three baby skunk tails Samuel discovered across the street from the mallards at Hart Park.

See more progress on: reflect daily in a 'one sentence' journal

May 15, 2011

My voice turned into a squeak when I saw the three baby skunk tails Samuel discovered across the street from the mallards at Hart Park.

See more progress on: reflect daily in a 'one sentence' journal

Gratitude on May 16, 2011

I am grateful for…

1. the surprise of late Spring rainy mornings

2. productive rehearsals filled with people I enjoy

3. places to go that fill me with joy

4. silly photography

5. sentient sunsets

See more progress on: Daily: Reflect on at least 5 things for which I'm grateful (Happiness Manifesto #2)

April 7, 2011 - Canvas in Three Dimensions

darkness. empty. canvas in
three dimensions.
We breathe our lives.
Our souls, onto it.
Into it.
A prayer.
A wish.
A hope.
Vision comes ~
Lights Up.
A joining.
Molding words into
form, together.
Weaving, blending.
Assorted a-ha’s
bloom via laughter.
hurt. gentle coaxing.
Tantrums.
Negotiation.
Restoration. movement.
breath.
Repeat.
Repeat.
Repeat.
Repeat?
Nod. Repeat.
We do this
over and over.
again, over.
darkness. empty. canvas in
three dimensions.

See more progress on: participate in napowrimo 2011 (a poem a day in April)

Gratitudes on April 7, 2011

I am grateful for the fun time with the high five photos around town

I am grateful for Samuel’s book fair and my continued presence on campus. Samuel said this morning he wishes I could come every day. Bittersweet.

I am grateful for my cell phone. How I love it. Crazy, I know.

I am grateful for the night blooming trees in my neighborhood.

I am grateful to have a relatively open day. Thinking a picnic and time with the ducks is in order.

I am grateful for Samuel’s improvement.

I am grateful for the enormous thank you card from the kids at Independence High’s Writing Camp last week!

I am grateful for this place, to list my gratitudes, even though I am not here as often these days.

See more progress on: Daily: Reflect on at least 5 things for which I'm grateful (Happiness Manifesto #2)

The Yellow Arrow

I missed the green arrow

when I raised my eyes

from the memory minestrone

the yellow arrow had spoken,

“Too late.”

It was a different airport.

Flight: Phoenix to LAX.

Southwest. Bargain basement

lure of “Stay Close! Come.

Come close. Here. With me.”

Phone rings in the

used-to-be-my-Hollywood-

apartment. He had fallen.

Asleep. Wasn’t on his way.

Yet, to the airport.

I waited. A pink and

white floral jumpsuit,

watching a parade of

taxis and shuttles for

people who hadn’t fallen

asleep. Who had arrived

on time.

Now, decades later. Different.

Stewed tomatoes replaced

jumpsuits and celery urban

apartments are swept clean.

No more blonde hair, no more

company cars, no more waiting.

Closeness is avoided.

“Stay away! Go!

Go away. Go. From me.”

The yellow arrow had spoken.

Too late.

See more progress on: participate in napowrimo 2011 (a poem a day in April)

March 23, 2011 One Sentence Journal

Samuel’s desire to return to the labyrinth filled me with optimism for the second time in a week.

See more progress on: reflect daily in a 'one sentence' journal

March 23, 2011 One Sentence Journal

Samuel’s desire to return to the labyrinth filled me with optimism for the second time in a week.

See more progress on: reflect daily in a 'one sentence' journal

One word journal: January 19, 2011

airport

See more progress on: reflect daily in a 'one word' journal

This morning I am grateful for....

the comment from Simon on my small stones blog. Somehow reading comments from writers I know who are admired brings more of a “big deal” feeling to me. Strange yet not, I suppose.

my Writing Campers. Intense, lovely work being done at Camp.

the ability to show up at 43things as I can and knowing it is here, will be here and my friends are here… loving and waiting and cool with my presence and my absence as well.

the coldness on the tip of my nose. Says “I am alert.”

My notebooks.

The drive to Los Angeles yesterday. Tedious and yet… awakening.

Yesterday’s Moonset and Sunrise.

See more progress on: Daily: Reflect on at least 5 things for which I'm grateful (Happiness Manifesto #2)

January 20, 2011: This Morning....

Samuel’s bus arrived, right on time, despite the foggy conditions outside my window which block my view of much of anything.

I woke him up early and suggested he play with his WII before he set off, knowing some play time might help his school time. He would leave on a happy note, a “I did my favorite thing!’ before he had to face the unpleasantness of peers who don’t quite understand him. This year he has been saying things like, “I want to be a hermit” and I talked to a teacher who just mentioned in passing how the protectiveness of Samuel’s former class room aid pointed toward children not being so nice to Samuel on the playground.

He is exhibiting an escalation in bad behaviors which have been decreased since I have strategically used his WII as an early morning device as well as a conversation topic and a subject for social stories.

He walked out the door this morning and I reminded him. “I believe in you. Samuel, I love you!” I have trained myself to use four word sentences when he is leaving for school and when he is coming home from school. He appreciates that uniformity.

Since I love him, I have taught myself to do what he needs to begin the day well.

See more progress on: Raise My Son in a Way That Honors His Uniqueness

One Word Journal: January 3, 2011

paint

See more progress on: reflect daily in a 'one word' journal

One Sentence Journal: January 3, 2011

Random conversations while standing beside the poetry books at any book store fill my heart and pen with word-delight.

See more progress on: reflect daily in a 'one sentence' journal

Today, January 3, 2011 I am grateful for...

time for reflection, finally. It seems today is more wide open than my recent days. I am electing to use it as such, without guilt or worry. Lately, been feeling guilty and worried almost constantly.

the artists participating in Visible Poetics. Some people have had to pull out and that made me nervous, but it appears to be coming together.

recognition of my own needs creatively.

Katherine’s presence.

Katherine’s normal blood tests (not anemic this time!)

my children, getting along so well (Even Samuel with his maniacal video game playing)

Emily Dickinson art

mod podge

thrift store treasures… what I call thrift store rescue, sometimes. :-)

my writing friends

See more progress on: Daily: Reflect on at least 5 things for which I'm grateful (Happiness Manifesto #2)

On January 2, 2010 I am so grateful for...

the chill in the air, the wind, the thick grey clouds ~ and I intend to remember how my cold nose feels for July when it is over 100 degrees here.

Emily Dickinson

ridiculously low priced thrift store sales

Seymour’s creative assistance

Emma’s request making: she is maturing right before my eyes….

time to watch old films

sculpting goals for 2011 that will inspire me…

See more progress on: Daily: Reflect on at least 5 things for which I'm grateful (Happiness Manifesto #2)

Ooodles of layers of accomplishment today, January 1, 2011....

So I am going to calm my little soul down and get working on my manifesto and goals… tomorrow.

Abondanza2011, y’all….

See more progress on: review 2010 goals and begin creating 2011 goals that are inspiring and irresistable.

Saturday, January 1, 2010

I was such a whirling dervish of creativity, I think I’ll go to bed extra early.

See more progress on: reflect daily in a 'one sentence' journal

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Creativity

See more progress on: reflect daily in a 'one word' journal